don't be a jerk

I'd like to take some time this afternoon to make a recommendation to all you out there, in the hopes that you can learn from my mistakes and not make the same gaffes yourselves.

People, don't be jerks!!

Jerks do things like make assumptions and single people out for being different.

Yesterday, we were talking about a co-worker who is known to all as a complete freak. He put his hand through a wineglass somehow and ended up in the emergency room, and we were wondering what would lead him to put his hand through the wineglass (apparently the pointy stem part). (There are heavy rumors that the action was deliberate.) I suggested that possibly he was motivated by the anger and frustration that comes from being a gun-loving, liberal-baiting neo-conservative, and that if he would only accept the liberal tendencies in his heart then he would find peace.

Then I say, "Sorry if you're a Republican or anything, I just..." not actually believing that anyone in the group would be a *gasp* conservative. [A note to readers: I live and work in the town that Jesse Helms once said should be surrounded by a fence in order to keep the liberals from getting out.] And she says, "Actually, I am a Republican."

OOPS!

This happened about 24 hours ago and I STILL feel like a jerk for what I said. I should have never assumed that everyone in the group was a bleeding-heart like me, and I should not have acted on that assumption to the point of making anti-conservative remarks. I'm usually safe making that assumption, but that doesn't make it right. Nevertheless, at work we poke fun at Republicans all the time!

One might say, "But Pinky, conservatives are practically BEGGING us to make fun of them, what with their abstinence-only programs, and so-called intelligent design, et cetera. It is our duty to retaliate against their bullying."

Yeah, but... It's not a secret any longer. I love conservatives. I always will. I can't help it. I was raised by them and I am friends with them, and I will even date them. I will make fun of Republicans who are stupid and absolutist and inflexible, but I will also make fun of the "Liberal Elite" and their own blind adherence to a party line. I don't think it's wise (even though it's easy) to divide a nation into just two groups, label one "us" and label the other "them," and then declare cultural war. People are more complex than that, our lives are more complicated, and no one benefits from constant mudslinging.

For real, I am no fan of Bush, or Rove, and especially not of Dick Cheney who has scared the bejeebus out of me since high school. Scary creepy icky monster man!! I don't say that they've totally cocked up our nation, but they've made some serious errors as well. And not just them, they are left with a lot of junk from previous administrations. I am irritated by jerk-o politicians regardless of their party affiliation, and it seems that once a politician has reached the national level, he or she is probably a sell-out somehow. Someone's gotta pay for those fancy campaigns.

In that case, I apologise if any of you are federal-level politicians. But if you are, then please respect my opinion that you are a sell-out, and I promise I won't call you out on it anymore.

So, this is my apology to my coworker, and it may or may not surprise you to know that she is a KNITTER! See, even knitters are conservatives sometimes. I even think this new information about her makes her a more interesting person to me, because there are so few conservatives around here, and most of them are patriarchy-embracing menfolk. An intelligent, creative, young woman who is also Republican? Now THERE'S a good conversation waiting to happen! I'd like to hear her views on all kinds of things, especially the "lady issues," like childcare and schools and the wage gap, etc. (I'm not touching the abortion issue! Too hot!)

But if you really have to be a jerk, you've just got to get the jerkness out of your system, be the jerk who takes her library books back a couple days late and pays the fine later, or the jerk who angers other motorists by yielding to the kids crossing the street to get to the park. But don't be the kind of jerk that I am, the one who forgets about other's feelings.